Losing You Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2019 by Corina Eichholz

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  Cover design: Addendum Designs

  Editor: Stephanie Lott

  Formatting: Champagne Book Design

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  For my mom, the best person ever.

  Michaela

  James, his toned and chiselled body, his bronzed complexion and wavy chestnut locks could only be described as perfect to every girl on the planet but me.

  “Have you seen James? He’s gotten even hotter over the summer, if that’s possible!” Emily gushed. I rolled my eyes at her, of course I’d seen him over the summer! We were neighbours after all. Unfortunately, I’d had to see him every day since I was five and dad had bought the house next door. The first day of school was always hard but I had expected to go at least five minutes without James being the center of attention but as usual, my expectations were dead wrong.

  “I know! He looks like a model straight out of an Abercrombie ad,” Tara said, blushing red. No one knew why I hated James with a passion but he shared the same feelings for some unfounded reason.

  “You guys are unbelievable!” I said annoyed and stomped off. This was my year; senior year and I was not going to continue listening to everybody talk about how perfect James looked. Nobody had even noticed the changes in me, like the thirty pounds I’d shed and the acne that had disappeared from my face or how my hair was now a full four inches longer! Nobody bothered to say, wow Mickey you look great, you changed a lot over the summer. You don’t look like you at all, hell I don’t even recognize you. Even just a, you look pretty Mick, well they would’ve said Mike. Still it would have sufficed but no one said anything. I got diddly squat. Maybe I was being shallow or selfish, but I honestly didn’t care, I had literally worked my butt off to look like this and nobody said anything, not one comment. As my evil little step-sister said, I changed from the ugly fat duckling to the dorky pigeon. You would think people would stop staring and drooling over James for a few minutes to notice. I walked to homeroom with a lead pencil and my fuchsia notebook in hand. At least my schedule was good, I had English, my favorite class, for homeroom and gym last, so when I was all sweaty I could go home. The classes at Horizon High were relatively small, no more than twenty-two students in each. There was only a total of ninety students in my senior year. My English class had been switched to an old science room, there were sinks in the room and counters, also the desks were designed for two people.

  “Michaela,” Mrs. Becker said, eyes shining with pleasure. She was my English teacher last year as well and we got on great.

  “You look amazing! How was your summer?” she asked, putting her arm over my shoulders. Finally, a compliment! I thought, smiling happily.

  “Thank you, my summer was fine. I read most of the books you recommended.” I smiled. Mrs. B knew my love for the written word and showed me many books the that led me to far off places, full of adventure, love, passion, hate, mystery, intrigue, tragedy, and hope among others.

  “Did you enjoy them?” she asked, looking proud.

  “Very much so,” I said, being cut off by the bell.

  “That makes me happy, now go sit down and after class I’ll give you another list, this one will be a little more adult appropriate,” she whispered, giving me a secret wink.

  “Thanks.” I smiled back and sat in one of the front desks by myself. I didn’t have many friends, maybe five. Okay not even, more like two and three acquaintances. And none were in this class but that was okay, I never really talked to them when I had work anyways. Everybody thinks I’m a little Miss Perfect but really, I just like to get my work done as fast as I can. No one really understood that or me but the one person that had lost everything to me, including my trust. Mrs. B did attendance and then told us all to stand up.

  “You are all going to have to sit in pairs since there aren’t enough desks,” Great. I grimaced. “The person I pair you with, will sit with you throughout the year,” Even better, I thought sarcastically. “And you will have to do assignments together as well.” That’s just perfect, I hated group work. I heard lots of groans and grumbles in complaint and one person even said ‘this sucks ass’, but no one argued.

  “Okay now in the first desk, Taylor and Marshall,” she said, patting the desk beside me. I moved to the front of the desk while she continued to read off her list of students for each desk, smiling happily. There were only three desks left at the back of the class and six people: me Sarah, Cody, Mathew, Gabriella and, James. I continued to ignore him, just as I had when I first walked in, and like I had for the year before.

  “Mike, James. Here,” Mrs. B said pointing to a desk. Everything froze before me. No. No! I wanted to shout. “Are you okay Michaela?” she asked, stopping to make sure I was alright. I was still standing looking at the desk and James who was already seated. I felt all twenty eyes on me and my face got hot. I sat down and gave a little nod for her to continue but still I felt many eyes on me, but the ones I felt the most came from right beside me. Those didn’t feel like the other lights on me, they felt like lasers, burning holes and searing me.

  “If there are any problems come see me after class,” she said and I could swear she was talking directly to me. I turned my head and really looked at the person sitting beside me for the first time in over a year.

  James

  Mickey looked at me with disgust. Her multi-colored brown-blue eyes that used to be so full of life, were now hollow like the life had been drained from them one second at a time. She gave me the shivers and made me feel sick, my stomach constricted under her glare. Please don’t look at me like that I wanted to beg. I’m sorry. I should have said it but I couldn’t, so I did what I’d learned best and gave her a look saying the same thing, I hate you. I looked away, not able to take it anymore, why did she hold so much power over me? It was me who ended it all, but still when she looked at me, I felt like I was sixteen all over again and we were closer than any kind of chemical bonds to ever exist. When I felt her glare was off me, I snuck quick glances at her. Her olive skin was all clear and soft looking, I wanted to brush my hand over her cheek and see how it would feel. Would it feel the same? Probably not, she’d never feel the same to me again. Her hair was different, no longer short and ending at her chin, now it ended below her chest, a dark chestnut brown that cascaded down her back. She had lost weight, a lot
too, not that it had ever mattered to me. Her face was pained like I was the grave, her grave.

  I didn’t hear two words that whole class while I watched Mickey. She was prettier than ever, how could I think this after everything, everything I had done. She kept tapping the end of her lead pencil but never actually pressing down on it. Her nails had no polish on them, unlike most of the girls at school but then again Mickey never believed in makeup or anything artificial like that. She believed none of it mattered, only the person on the inside did, and there was no way to change that so why pretend on the outside? She’d also say we are all unique and that’s what makes us all special, so why try to look the same? She was never vain before so she never thought she was pretty but now I wondered if she knew how pretty she was.

  “You look good,” I whispered, not thinking like usual when I used to be around her, old habits die hard. She sucked in air, looking shocked that I had even spoken to her. Maybe that was out of line after what I had done and said but I couldn’t help it, I’d wanted to talk to her ever since that day but after what she did, it was impossible to forgive her so why now did I feel I should? Probably because this was the closest we’d been in almost two years, I decided. Right when the bell rang, she jolted out of her chair like it was on fire and she couldn’t handle the searing pain one second longer and that’s what she looked like, like she was in pain. I got up much more slowly and went to stand behind her while she continued to talk to Mrs. Becker, apparently a total hard ass, Cody had told me.

  “Please let me switch. Anyone but James, please,” she pled frantically, her voice all wobbly. Ouch, that hurt to hear.

  “Yeah, Mrs. Becker. You have to let us switch,” I said, making myself known, trying to show the feeling was mutual. That clearly wasn’t the best thing to say. Mrs. Becker narrowed her eyes at us and her thin lips pursed into a firm frown.

  “You two will not get to switch,” she stated firmly. “You out of all people know what we do when we face challenges,” she said speaking to Mickey. Mickey looked sick, her olive skin was getting a greenish tint to it and her lips began to shake as she responded, they always did this whenever she felt anxious, nervous, scared, or sick.

  “Yes, Mrs. Becker,” she answered unsteadily and then left the class just as fast as she’d gotten up from her chair. I was about to leave as well when Mrs. Becker grabbed my arm stopping me.

  “Not so fast James, I don’t know what history you two have but I will not have it interfering with my class,” she said sternly. I nodded and continued to leave. “James, is that understood?” she asked loudly.

  “Yes,” I answered flatly and left the classroom. Cody, Tiffany, and Anna were waiting outside for me.

  “Dude, what was that about!” Cody asked, pounding me in the shoulder.

  “What?” I asked, trying to act like nothing had happened.

  “Michael-a, totally freaking out and then bringing the teacher into it!”

  “Michaela,” I corrected, I couldn’t resist. I hated it when people mispronounced names. ‘Michael-a’ is how most people pronounced her name but really it was ‘Mick-eye-ella’. It was Spanish. Her step-father had named her when she was born. “We don’t get along, so we asked the teacher to switch us but Mrs. Bitcher said no,” I explained, trying to sound pissed off but even with drama class, I was a terrible actor. Why wasn’t I also upset?

  “She’s probably still obsessed with you,” Tiffany joked laughing. I’d say the opposite but they all laughed along.

  “At least I sit at the desk beside you, bro,” Cody laughed, patting me on the back.

  “Yeah, I just don’t know what I’m going to do if she starts stalking me,” I joked, sending them all into tears of laughter.

  Michaela

  The rest of my classes up until lunch were fine. My friend Emily was even in my science class.

  “Have you heard the rumours?” April said far too loudly, a couple tables down. A very April thing to do, if she wanted to be heard or get attention, she was always loud enough to get it.

  “Michaela is stalking James! They’re in English together and she bribed Mrs. Becker, to make them partners,” she continued in a voice shrill with delight. My face heated up in a flame and I felt the room sway as I got dizzy. This isn’t happening, I thought, feeling sick to my stomach.

  “You okay?” Emily asked, patting the top of my hand that was curled into a fist and slightly shaking on the cafeteria table. I cursed my hand for shaking, an annoying habit that happened when I got angry or anxious, at least it was just my hands right now, but still it was an annoying habit.

  “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, trying to plaster on a smile and make light of the situation but my stupid hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

  “I don’t know, maybe because people are spreading lies about you and laughing,” Tara said, still not comprehending sarcasm.

  “Oh that, whatever. I don’t care what people say about me. It’s just because their lives are so boring, they have to find stupid ways to amuse themselves,” I said, plopping a green grape into my mouth. I didn’t like purple grapes and especially not the ones with seeds, only green for me.

  “You’re so strong Mike, I would care for sure. I’d probably be crying by now,” Tara admitted. Oh, I will be the second I get home and close my bedroom door. I’m not strong, it’s all an act and one that I can play particularly well. Em changed the subject easily by talking about her history teacher, who apparently was a complete pervert and kept checking out all the girls and staring at their boobs. He was worse than all the boys and on top of that, he was old and a sexist. I had history right before gym with this Mr. Renner, the same teacher Em was telling me about.

  Mr. Renner was exactly like Em had explained; a total perv, actually worse. He stopped class to ask me to stand up so he could read my shirt that said, ‘It’s okay to be weird’, the whole time he was staring at my boobs. I blushed scarlet as the class laughed and he remained oblivious gawking away, finally I crossed my arms and asked to be seated.

  “Yes, Miss Lesage,” he said creepily and then continued talking about what we’d be learning this year and the first term. I told Tara everything in gym, the one class we had together, she actually couldn’t stop laughing.

  “Guess we know who his favourite student is,” she laughed loudly, holding her stomach as she doubled over.

  “It’s not funny! The guy is a serious creep,” I said annoyed. I’d had enough people laughing at me today.

  “At least you’ll always be getting good grades, just wear a tight top and there you go B+, a V-neck and you get an A- and pair that with a coloured bra A+!” she exclaimed through her hysterics. I decided it would be best if I walked away before I said something I’d regret later. I had a bad temper on me.

  “Aw, come on. I’m sorry,” she said following me. There was a sheet taped on the wall, everyone was crowding around it, we joined the crowd to look at what teams we were put in. I was in team two and Tara, team five. Fun. I didn’t bother looking at who else was on my team because no one else besides Tara was my friend in this class. I normally tried to ignore everyone else. Mrs. Larson blew the whistle and pointed for us to each make lines, dividing us into six groups. I went to the back of line two and waited to say present when asked. In front of me was Cody, Sam, Lloyd, and Derek. I got on with Derek okay but the rest were nothing but bullies and strangers to me.

  “Hey stalker,” Cody said, turning around when the teacher was far enough not to hear. My face began to heat up for what felt like the hundredth time today.

  “Leave her alone,” Derek said to him, surprising me and making me like him all the more. He’d always been nice to me, ever since we were paired up last year in math.

  “Why? She your girlfriend?” Cody cooed, egging him on. I could tell that made Derek even more pissed!

  “I don’t tolerate bullies,” he said, smacking his fist into his open hand. I was glad Derek was rather big and a football player. He was able to s
hut up people like Cody. Derek and I walked towards the changing rooms together when class ended, which was early because all we had done was intro and get into teams.

  “Thanks for before,” I told him, truly grateful. I hoped Cody would leave me alone when Derek was around now.

  “No worries, I hate that Cody kid anyways, and you always helped me out in math and your cookies are amazing,” he complimented me, smiling sweetly.

  “Thanks, and for the record I don’t stalk James, or anyone for that matter,” I told him defensively. He smiled at that, real big like he was going to laugh.

  “I know, whoever thought of that one must have been really bored.” He laughed as we went our separate ways. Tara was already at our locker getting dressed when I got in.

  “How did it go?” she asked, putting on some deodorant.

  “Fine, you?” I asked, pulling my jeans back on.

  “Good, Shannon is in my group, so I have her to lean on,” she said and continued speaking but I had stopped paying attention sometimes while she spoke. “So anyways, what happened with Cody and Derek?” she asked, looking for some good gossip but trying to ask nonchalantly, something Tara was not good at.

  “Oh, you noticed that?” I asked, realizing I’d now have to tell her that Cody was picking on me, which I found highly embarrassing.

  “I think everyone did, it looked like Derek was going to pummel his ass.” She smiled happily. No one seemed to like Cody.

  “He was just standing up for me,” I divulged, trying to sound like it didn’t bother me at all, bursting her bubble.

  “Looked like more than that to me,” she said cryptically. What was that supposed to mean?

  James

  Mickey was in my gym class, that made two classes we shared. We hadn’t had any of the same classes for three years and now we were in two together. It was too bad we hated each other, otherwise it would have been a lot easier. She’d really lost a lot of weight, not only on her body but her face too, showing everybody how pretty she was, even though I saw it all along.